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Jan. 18th, 2014

Green Wave

The inherent waste of self-awareness.

Seventh: Self awareness is a gift. If it proves to be a hinderance to our survival as a species, other species without it will take our place.
Green Wave

Random weirdnes #0

I'm about to post a series of thoughts I've had recently, but in reverse order. Please forgive me for that, I have no excuse.

Apr. 24th, 2012

Self Portrait

New post

I'm giving up on not posting about shit at work. My life is work, school, and family. Nothing of note happens at school and I'm more likely to be guarded concerning family; there being other peoples lives I'm responsible for and such. Being mute about the job means that I don't post any more. I want to post more, so opening up the work topic gets me writing. And writing begets more writing or so I think. Here we go...

May. 20th, 2011

Self Portrait

The deed is did

And so after further adventures under the knife, I am home with a bag of ice stuffed in my shorts; waiting eagerly for my wife to bring me my pain pills as the local anesthetic is starting to wear off.
Pre-op I was feeling anxious but really there was nothing to be afraid about. The worst part was the needle and even that was only slighlty uncomfortable. After the local took effect all I felt was cold and pressure and in about 20 minutes it was done.
Not to say there wasn't weirdness. For one, my wife had to sign the release form. I felt like a kid getting their permission slip signed so they could to go on a field trip. Another was post-op the doctor placed the removed bits of vas deferens into vials presumably for testing.
All-in-all, If it came down to it, I'd do it again, but lets hope that I don't have to.

Apr. 8th, 2011

Self Portrait

Reflections in the Wake of a New Child

On the cusp of raising another child, I feel that the world is finally coming to sanity.

Of course the world doesn't agree. With the GOP taking unusual political bravado and pushing their agenda onto the citizens of America before they are truly ready, and chaos breaking out in the Middle-East, one has to wonder what is really going on.

The way I see it is the GOP has finally taken out enough rope to hang themselves, and they're doing a bang-up job at it. Really. As someone wittier than me had mentioned on Twitter, more voters turned up to oust state Justice David Prosser than it would take to push a recall vote of Gov. Walker. The latest news is that a 7K+ vote magically turned up in a largely Republican section of the state; pushing the vote count above the state-funded limit for a recount. This is accounted for due to an all-too human recount error in the district. Does anyone else see this as a little too convenient? Insanity at its best.

In the end, I don't think it matters. Or more accurately, it matters but it will spike a backlash against the GOP who I feel have overplayed their hand. What the hard-core Republicans (and also eventually the dyed-in-the-wool Democrats)  don't know is that most people, even if they feel an unswerving belief in their chosen party's core values, are actually middle-ground politically. Sure they have certain issues that are more important than others, but I believe that people are beginning to wake up to the fact that the parties are abusing those issues to push for their own self-serving policies after being elected to office.

Politics in America, like a clock pendulum, sways one way and yet another but the average of the tick and tock is always in the middle. Politicians may have forgotten this, but the electorate have not because it is the place where they have always been. Lunacy on the right may have taken hold at the moment but sanity will restore itself. It is the way of Democracy.

Just like every sweep of the second hand denotes a minute on the clock, every sway of public opinion pushes us forward. Tick. Tock. First we're left, then we move right, but for the most part we spend a great deal of time in the middle. And always we move forward; not back. Between too much and not enough resides our generational truth. Moving toward craziness we inevitably swing back to sanity, because we cannot both stay at the edge and yet move forward. And moving forward is what Americans do best.

Sidenote: Today was born my third child: India-Rose Winter DeSloover, 8lbs. 9oz. This is a monumental happening in my life, yet a continuation of same-as-it-ever-was considering I already have 10 and 12 year old children. I tend to see this as a new opportunity. An opportunity for what remains to be seen as it is a colaboration between my wife and I as parents and Indy's own desires and dreams. What ever the future holds, I feel that there is providence in her being born in such interesting times.

Dec. 23rd, 2010

Self Portrait

Thoughts on Police Violence

On a posting by one-time GOH Bruce Schneier concerning recording the police, it occurs to me recording the police can only be a societal good. Nothing bad can come from it short of punishment of police that are bad at their jobs. Essentially a cop needs to do their job, but do it fairly. If a mistake is made a court of law can sort it out .

(note: my belief is police shouldn't be held to the same standard as citizens concerning potential murder charges, but blatant offenses should be prosecuted). On that note we head off into off-topic land.

Police often are in situations where their life or others lives may be in danger and need to quickly make decisions under heated circumstances. Not only that but they are also privy to the worst of society on daily basis which would skew even the most level-headed individual's world view towards negative outcomes. It's not surprising that in the stressful situations that society places them, that they sometimes overreact. Which is my basis for a different standard for murder than the average citizen.

The life of a cop is dangerous. I don't always begrudge them the need to whip their gun out when necessary. On the other hand there is sorely a need for some sort of impartial court of law to handle bad police. And by bad, I mean sociopathic or mentally unstable. Too often these "bad cops" are protected by the rank-and-file officers from their actions. This is understandable. The police force is a tight-knit group that experience the same human waste BS day in and day out. They lean on each other for support and understand the conflicts inherent to the profession. It has become a culture thing.

But as an ex-military, ex-Catholic I understand a few things about culture and growing/nurturing the type of culture that an authority figure desires. It consists of the use of propaganda (dirty word, I know, but useful), consistent and constant use of training and retraining, retiring older more cynical members of the organization (not before passing on technical knowledge), buy in from management ,and finally appropriate enforcement when members step outside of the boundaries. Those previous creates a culture where in 10 years disgressions happen but are rare and in 30 years are unheard of and only exist at the very extreme edges.

Oct. 4th, 2010

Self Portrait

Dickhead Online Professor

So I'm cruising along finishing my assignments for my class when they are due which according to previous assignment has always been Friday. Except this week the due date inexplicably changed to Thursday and I get no credit for it. So I made a calendar of due dates for all of my classes.

Sunday I had this feeling that something was due in the same class, but I brushed it off because, in my mind, no professor would make something, especially something as important as an exam due on a day that is not a weekday. Nope, I was wrong. I was able to answer 20 questions out of 75 before McGraw Hill closed the test on me, because I didn't check out the factuality of the feeling until quarter till midnight. (don't get me started on the fact that the asshole couldn't even be bothered to write his own quizzes and exams for the online class.)

I am aware that both instances are completely my fault. I was given all the information ahead of time concerning due dates, but failed to read and comprehend either of them. I tend to work off of a pattern. Change the weekly due date on something and it throws me off. Assign something as important as an exam on Sunday and I'll forget. The very best grade that I can attain in the class now is a B.

May. 18th, 2010

Self Portrait

Teabagger Nut Brown Ale

Teabagger Nut Brown Ale is now on tap! or will be soon once it's done carbing. It's nice, although a bit too malty, closer to a porter than a brown ale with just a hint of tea flavor. By now I'm realizing using caffeinated tea was probably a mistake, but since the yeast quit at 1.020 it's only 4.5% ABV; so there is not much worry about getting drunk. Just being awake forever. It's seriously like an alcoholic energy drink.

May. 10th, 2010

Self Portrait

Culture with no Truth

I tend to enjoy reading comments to articles online. Arguably, this is the best part. For me there is an essence of gestalt in reading the comments of Random Q. American. No matter how it differs from my own sensibilities.

I bring this up because I've realized that I want to live in a culture with no truth. Where the word truth does not exist, and a person who is wrong is no less than a person who is right. Judgment is neutral, and does not exist.

I'm aware of the unreality of my dream. I 'm also aware of the impossibility. We humans and our brains are trained by evolution to be focused on dominance and submission with very little wiggle room in between. We are also blessed amongst the animal kingdom with a great sense of imagination. Unfortunately hence we use that to fool ourselves into believing all manner of things. Lies, truth, opinion, fiction, experience, second hand experience all flood our consciousnesses and skew our personal reality.

Which (to me) is fine; everyone has to live their own life, make their own decisions and essentially only have flawed information sources to do so. Only a fool completely trust their information sources, particularly in this day and age. But more importantly a fool is also someone who places trust in their own understanding. The realm of possible knowledge is too large for any one person to comprehend. We can't take in everything. There is a place for filtering mechanisms within the system as well as internally.

Which brings me to my point. I don't understand the vehemence with which people will defend their point of view, considering that theirs is a single point amongst billions of other, singularly important views. A star amongst a field of billions of stars. Essentially an inseparable part of the Milly Way. We will be born, sprout off, and then die; timescales be damned; humanity will march on. Our progeny will be oblivious to the squabbles of their distant past and move on to a greater future, but only if we lay the road for them now.

What I want is a future where a person is not judged on the completeness of the their truth. Truth itself would be regarded as a foreign, barbarian concept. A person's personal understanding of the world would be just that, personal and beyond reproach and also easily discarded against stronger evidence.

Perhaps it's the pessimist in me, but I don't think humanity will ever achieve this goal. There will always be disagreements and unfortunately always people taking themselves too seriously to overcome themselves.

But a man can dream.

May. 9th, 2010

Self Portrait

Here's baker's luck!

Finished brewing a beer. Extract w/ a small amount of grain for those that give a shit. I simply don't have the time or more importantly the equipment to brew all grain. And I refuse to brew not at all. So nannynannypoopoo to those people.
On the other hand, I'm making some spent grain rolls. Which look good and should be good and I get to try one (the advantage of rolls over bread) before they are completely cooled.
Here's baker's luck!

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